Birthdays and Greatness
Silvano D'Agostino
Some number of years ago—three according to the date of the note under which I filed the piece away, at least six in my mind (feels like I must have still been in college when I first read it), though really three and a half at most, considering the publication date of August 2020—I read this delightful New Yorker piece and it spoke to me. I Thought I Would Have Accomplished a Lot More Today and Also by the Time I Was Thirty-Five. Me being me, I decided to make it my annual birthday read.
I don’t really remember how I felt when I first read the piece. Clearly, I barely even remember what stage of my life I was in. But I think it set free a certain energy within me. An I’m unlikely to and really desperately don’t want to end up that way energy. Which gives you some indication of the fear I must have felt about potentially ending up that way after all.
A little over a year ago, I had a conversation with a trusted elder. We were talking about what I was looking to learn, and I had been thinking a lot about hard skills. He pointed me instead in the direction of Ego Development. I haven’t gone out of my way to dive particularly deep; judging by what little I do know about integral theory and related ideas such as Ego Development, the scientific foundation seems fuzzy at best. But I have a whole take about how sometimes frameworks have value even when they’re not scientifically sound.
Tragedy and parenthood have very little in common, other than prompting deep introspection. As my eventful twenty-eighth revolution around the sun nears its end and I re-read the New Yorker piece, the fear is gone. I still find the article quite amusing, and I still feel tremendously hungry for accomplishment. But the energy around it has changed.
One of the most important thought technologies of my twenties: Capital G Greatness requires remarkable tradeoffs. In college, this thought technology presented itself as a path, planting the seed of that fear I felt when first reading the article. Three years ago, I recognized this thought technology and began putting it into words. Today, I am embracing it because the tradeoffs weren't worth it to me.
I suppose I have another seven years to go.